love, disbelief, and a sense of accomplishment

Well, October was insanely busy, and I am glad that it's over.

I'd like to make a public apology to the Marthe/Erica faction for neither rsvp-ing or attending their function.  I am very sorry we missed it.  I really wanted to come, and had planned on it.  Then I remembered I was going to be at a conference that day.  I hope it was a blast!

I begin with some stories...

So, I have been listening to this great song by the Avett Bros.  called "The Ballad of Love and Hate."  It is a very sweet song; moreover, it sparked a great conversation with the kids the other day.  They asked me why in the song was there a person named hate , a word we don't allow them to say.  I explained that the song was not about a person, but about making a choice.  We can choose to love people, or choose to hate them.  It was very sweet, and when I asked them what they thought we should chose, they both said, "Love."  Well, Ceci said "Yove."  When I asked them what Jesus chooses, they said "Love."  It was reassuring, to say the least.  I mean, if they only ever remembered one thing about Jesus and what it means to be a Christain, I would want it to be that.  

So, another car story.  Let me preface it with this:  we are good friends with our neighbors, Chris and Allysen.  At their house, they have a menagerie of animals, including a cat that is some fancy, wild kind of cat, but she is a real diva, whatever she is.  Allysen could never come up with a name for her, so I started calling her Beyonce.  It stuck.  Chris, Allysen's husband, can't stand the cat, and the feeling is mutual.  On Friday, we were driving down our street  and they were all out trick-or-treating (we were heading over to trick-or-treat with the James').  So,  as I am approaching them, Beyonce runs out in the road, and is just standing in front of my car.  Chris, who is next to the car on the passenger side, is yelling, "Hit her!  Hit her!"  I am laughing, and he says, "You missed it!  You had your chance!"  Henry says, "What is Mr. Chris saying?"  I say, "He wants me to run over Beyonce, but he is just kidding."  From the back of the van, Ceci declares, "I can't believe my eyes!"

Some of you may know I have been going back and forth about Henry being in school.  I started out confident that sending him to public school was the right decision.  And by right decision, I mean we prayed about it and felt this is what the Lord would have for him.  And I didn't have a peace about any of the alternatives.  As the year has developed, I have toyed with the idea of homeschooling him.  I'd go back and forth, back and forth, and this weekend, I came to a realization.  I would choose home schooling not because it is what the Lord wants for him, but because I want control over whether or not he gets wounded.  (I'm not not speaking of being wounded physically, here, although school shootings invite terror into my heart)  If I decide to homeschool, I want it to be because I think that is what is best for him.  Right now, that decision would be coming out of a place of fear, and when a decision is made in fear, it is not made in the Lord because the Lord's perfect love casts out all fear.   I am so afraid of Henry getting teased or rejected or any of those things that I would choose to home school in order to keep these things from happening instead of trusting the Lord to take care of these things, and to take care of him.  Now I know some of you will not agree with this, and I am sorry if this is too religious for any of you, but it is something I felt like I had to say, for no other reason than to just get it off my chest.  I am relieved to have some sort of closure on this issue because it has been on my mind.  A lot.   So, I can check it off the list, for the moment, at least.